understanding

few years back when i was growing, from a boy to an adult
i met a girl in the way she was standing; eyes on me
she told her name as miss. understanding
as i fell in love from head to toe
i read, i wrote and explored everything i had to;
she cast a spell on me with her beauty
keeping myself at her disposal was my only duty;
she made me behave insane
she made me spoke strange
because or her felt bit to special
that and wisdom words i said, struck cacophonous chords with others
i thought one should always share
all that i am bestowed by her
never imagined that one day we will be bored of each other
she said,"let's finish and free each other"
we both are sick and tired of one another
once she was gone i was left all alone
craving for some company 'human'
i realized that i lost a decade or so
little playfulness, friendships but not foe's'
i went back and tried to make friends, that i could have mustered
but, alas! am still more often than not mr. misunderstood

अंतरात्मा और प्रश्न

एक जाग्रति एक आन्दोलन में जी रहा हूँ मैं ,
न कारण न उद्देश्य बस चलता जा रहा हूँ मैं।
क्या है सत्य क्या असत्य नहीं जन रहा हूँ मैं,
कभी इस दिशा कभी उस दिशा बस उड़ता जा रहा हूँ मैं।

एक अनजान अलोकिक ताकत ने उठा रखा है मुझे,
कुछ न कुछ कहके उड़ा रखा है मुझे
कभी सागर कभी पर्वत बना रख है मुझे
कभी अतिशांत अभी अतिविभस्त बना रखा है मुझे

एक अनजान की खोज से असंतुलन में हूँ मैं,
स्वम को जानने की चेष्ठा से अवसाद में हूँ मैं.
क्या स्वारथ क्या व्यर्थ से उकता गया हूँ मैं ,
रोष, द्वेष और उन्माद से बौरा गया हूँ मैं.

कभी आईने में ख़ुद को देखने से भी भागता हूँ मैं,
तो कभी ख़ुद को शक्ति पुंज मानता हूँ मैं.
कभी स्वयं को अणु से छोटा कभी महासागर से विशाल मानता हूँ मैं,
कब क्यूँ और क्या करना है यह भी नहीं जनता हूँ मैं.

मैं बहुत निकृष्ठ और अनुचित कम भी करता हूँ मैं,
इसको छपने के बजाये अहम् के साथ स्वीकारता हूँ मैं.
बस अपने अहम् अपने अभीमान को ही प्रणाम करता हूँ मैं,
बस अपने अहम् अपने अभीमान को ही प्रणाम करता हूँ मैं.

परमेश्वर

तुमसे मिलने की चाह से आज दिल भर गया है

पर तुमको ढूँढने के लिए न कोई पता है न निशान है

तुम कभी अपने घर में तो मिले नहीं हो

सोचते है हम तुम कौन हो! कैसे हो! क्या हो!

यादें

याद है अपने छोटे से शेहेर की छोटी-छोटी सी जिंदगियां
वो न कटता सा समय, छोटे मासूम से सपने, वो बेफिक्रियाँ
नुक्कडों और पान की दुकानों पर देश विदेश की बनती बिगड़ती नीतियाँ
आज इस बड़े शेहेर की बड़ी चौडी सड़क के इस पार हैं हम, न जाने हमारी जिंदगी है कहाँ ?

sodded face

standing so close to sun yet my shadow is not complete
so near to stars and wish grab one, my hand is not complete
praised for being this and that, my soul is not complete
i can't bear the horrendous sight of mirror, my face is not complete

did o lot to prove obscure
dueled to win battles unknown
ran hard to beat nameless
dressed well to present strange
spoke big to impress incognito
yet never touched the ether i wished
that may have made my face complete

what i gained by hurrying?
what i lost by following?
what difference i made by questioning?
what i changed by rebelling?
don't know the answers though....
had i knew, my face may have been complete

by the time i am a man
by the time i reach heaven
by the time i pass a thought
by the time i leave what i got
I'll wait and wouldn't die till i get my face complete

lost in you

when i am burnt, lost and confused ........all i wish is to see my reflection in your eyes.
when i am betrayed fooled and spoiled.....all i wish is to be by your side.
to see your smile which for me is symphony of all beautiful stars and sky
your lap your arms; the true heaven i wish to take refuge for my confidence shaken.
your fingers in hairs melts my anger and anxiety....your fragrance takes me to the heights of purity
for your company i have waited for long......please never get 'too' angry if i ever get wrong
before i can hurt you i would prefer die....before you get away i would bleed myself dry
the world is beautiful with you
no grudges no complaints if with you
body is free of maggots because of you
my thoughts my words are vibrant because of you
can't say it better that i love you

mediocrity

i see u every where
my soul, my society is full of you
what makes u so omnipresent
religion, family ties, tell me
why is it so chaotic to follow convictions?
why is it a problem to be 'self'?
selfishness must be your enemy
but you always win the wars 'coz your allies are
love, peace and comfort.
'live for others' must b your slogan
help others your weapon.
your quest to win lives is sweet poison.
you've poisoned all
and the world is full of lifeless bodies
that are 'living' and will live
but i made this choice to die
i'm also infected with the desease
called you 'mediocrity'
its better to leave than spread this oddity

प्रयास

इस जीवन को समझने का प्रयास कर लिया
समस्याओं और समाधानों को एक सार कर लिया
जब लगा की समस्याएं अनंत हैं, तब लगा की यह जीवन का अंत है
असमयिकता से अंतर्मन थर्रा गया
फिर एक विचार ने उसमें हर्ष भर दिया
जब लगा की किसी भी बात का अर्थ नहीं है
जब लगा सपनें और वास्तविकता सब वर्थ ही हैं
तभी एक शक्ति पुंज से आँखें चौंधिया गई
लगा हर पल सार्थक हर श्वास सत्य है
जिससे जितना दूर भागे उसे उतना ही पास पाया है
इन्हीं समस्याओं ने तो हमें अपन आप से मिलाया है
अपनी हर नासमझी को समझ और समझ को नासमझी हमी ने तो बनाया है
जान के भी अनजान हैं, पर अनजाने को जाना है
हर बार जब हम गिरे और चोटें खायीं
हम रोये, बोले इतना बुरा ! हम ही क्यूं
पर जब दृष्टि पर पड़ी धुंध हटी
हम बोले, हे प्रभु ! कम से कम हमपे तो यह गाज नहीं पड़ी

You and I

a thin line between u and i
both will certainly die
similar aspiration, similar grudges
similar capacity, similar face
yet so different vision
so very different perception and expression
education teaches same good and bad
still we both do either 'that' or 'that'
we have various Gods
few we dont know and we worship those who we know can cause us harm
we both like to be cozy and warm
we both are imprissioned we both are free
we both are like a bird we both are a tree
but still 'I' is always against 'You'
and 'You' is always against 'I'
a thin line between 'You and 'I'
a thin line between 'You and 'I'

be yourself

this is what i tried to add on to one of my favourite song titeled as same by band called audioslave
someone takes a bend as end
someone turns end as bends
someone tells lie to make things better
someone is always true and dare
someone hits the first road out
some hides inside to avoid heat dust and bout
being self is always a pain
this pain i dont disdain
i worship self and hence Him better
the words for me are just letters
someone tries to put nails in his head
someone cares only for his bread and bed
someon i know is someone i dont know
why my world is full of friends and foes
for me you are just anotherone
i wish only to be someone
someone who turns ends as bends
someone who is always true and dare
someone for whom pain is no fear